Structure Within the Family

Hey everyone!  Hope you are all still hanging in there with everything going on in this crazy messed up world of ours.  I will be the first to say that I am definitely getting kind of tired of all the chaos and confusion out there.  I share that quick little thought with you not because I want to rant for a sentence, but because I truly believe that the family is one of the secrets to fixing everything going on right now.  Think about it.  If families across the board stayed strong, structured, and taught good values, so many of our current challenges would be averted.  People would know better how to respect and love one another.  We would be faster to hear each other out and not just go directly to the hate filled speech that has become the “norm.”  Structure within a healthy family is definitely what keeps society going straight.  I truly believe that.  That is why this week I am going to be discussing structure within the family and how it affects the lives of those both in it, and around it.

First off, I would like to say that there is not any specific type of family structure that is inherently correct.  Every family is different, and I think it is important to acknowledge that.  I will say however, that studies do show that the traditional nuclear family (husband and wife) will provide the most ideal situation for children to be raised.  It is also important to note the role of class in the structure of the family. 

Earlier this week, we watched videos from a documentary that was filmed in the early 2000’s called People Like Us.  It was all about the different social classes and how they affect people in their lifestyles and moods.  A video with a woman named Tammy was especially interesting for me to watch.  Tammy was a single mother with two sons who all lived in a trailer in Ohio.  Tammy did not have a working car, and because of that, she had to walk to her minimum wage job at Burger King which was 10 ½ miles away from her home.  She shared that her dream was to go to college to get an education and become a schoolteacher.  Her two sons both talked about what they were going to accomplish with their own lives with school, family, and other healthy ambitions.  However, despite these goals, they were still living in poor conditions.  It was difficult to watch.

Back in 2013, the film crew decided to follow up on Tammy and her family.  It was interesting to see that the only thing that really changed for Tammy was that she got a small house that was only a 20-minute walk away from work instead of her 10 mile trek.  However, besides that, she was still in the same predicament, hoping to be a schoolteacher, but only making it to Burger King instead.  Her two sons did not have it much easier.  Her older son who was open and excited about starting his life became a high-school dropout and had a child out of wedlock.  Tammy’s youngest got into drugs and was unemployed for almost two years at the time of the follow up filming.  Life really had not gotten better for Tammy and her family, if anything, it got more difficult.  Obviously a big part of their struggles had to do with their social class, but I truly believe that part of it had also to do with the fact that they did not have a healthy family structure at their house.  Without a father, her two sons were raised up having to guess what it meant to grow into a strong fatherly figure.  Tammy also would not have had any source of support from a spouse, being left alone to shoulder the burden of feeding and raising a family with nothing but a minimum wage custodial job at Burger King.

I know many people think that the traditional family is outdated and not as important as we thought it once was.  To this, I disagree.  Having been raised in a healthy family situation, I can say that there are many things in my life that I never would have come to know or understand without having a loving mother and father who genuinely cared for each other and respected their promises made at marriage.  Now remember, I understand that there are situations where a situation like this may not be possible, and that is fine.  I will encourage those that find themselves in that situation to strive to establish a healthy sense of structure in your lives.   However, if one is not there already, I encourage you to create that structure in your life and always live by it.  Allow it to become your way of life and your children will be in a position to where they can grow up as strong and healthy members of society.

That is all I have for you this week.  Hopefully, you learned something new or maybe have achieved a new perspective.  I hope to hear any thoughts you may have on what I wrote about above, and I hope you have another great week.