Healthy Sexual Relationships within Marriage

    Hey everyone!  Hopefully, this week is treating you right.  Here comes another blog for you guys.  This week was definitely an interesting one.  I will try to find ways to keep it watered down for you guys because we went into the importance of a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife within the bounds of marriage.  Before I proceed I ask that you all bear with me since it is quite obvious I am not married and have never experienced such a relationship so if you have anything to add please do so.

So to kick it off, I am sure that any of you who has or has had the blessing of a healthy sexual relationship knows that it brings you and your spouse together like nothing else.  It allows you to literally become one in purpose whether that be for the creation of children, or the expression of love.  Brother Williams shared many stories about clients he had in the past (in family and marriage counseling) who were struggling in this area.  He spoke about how the biggest obstacles for these sorts of relationships were obviously affairs, but mostly pornography.  Pornography was literally sexually confusing the couples that he was counseling.  They would both share with him that they regularly viewed pornography and that they felt it did not affect their marriage.  He told us about how when they approached this class of relationship out of lust, not love, it drew them apart as a couple.  Brother Williams would invite both of them to strive to abstain from pornography and see how it would affect them as a couple.  Obviously, if the couple accepted this invitation, their sexual relationship increased in love and intimacy.  They both needed to put in the effort to make it better.

This was an interesting underlying message for me, that a healthy and gratifying relationship of this sort requires both the husband and the wife to put in effort, not selfish effort, but loving effort into each other.  We spoke about the different needs among both women and men in this act.  For example, we discussed about how men tend to be faster in the progression of this act in order to achieve gratification.  According to studies though, most men want that gratification not for the sake of being gratified, but in order to feel his partner’s embrace and love.  Women on the other hand tend to take a longer amount of time in progressing because they often want to feel their husbands embrace before moving on. (Remember, I am not entirely sure what I am talking about since I am completely unexperienced in this area.)  I find it interesting that both the husband and the wife simply want that expression of love and embrace from their spouse, they are just ready for it at different points of the experience.  This requires both to think of each other by striving to truly be selfless and fully express their love for their partner by putting their partners needs before their own.

In conclusion, I guess its pretty straightforward to say to all you husbands out there that you need to love your wife.  Help her know how much you care for her.  If you have already done that today, do it again.  Now to all you wives out there, make sure that your husbands know the same.  I know they may be trying to act all tough for you but I am sure that you know how a simple but heartfelt "I love you" will literally melt their heart.  And finally I invite you all to express your love for each other by showing them through the healthy and sacred act of a sexual relationship.  I know that doing so will greatly strengthen your relationship and will help you both want to be better for yourself and most importantly, for your spouse.